TWO GREAT KIDDIES

Well Molly made student of the month YAY.  Here she is attempting to fill up my car (have you seen the bloody price of gas?????).    I don't think I filled up my first car until I got my DL and that was late in the game too.

So where does it stand with Shea; well now we are just waiting on TA (travel approval) I can't believe it!!!  I am guessing April and hoping the first part of it.  Tomorrow our passports will come via express mail - we had to send them off to get Chinese visa's.  There is a family out in China right now adopting Shea's friend.  I don't remember her Chinese name but she is now called Maelie.  Anyway, she told her parents that she did not get the gifts they sent to her, so this leads me to believe that other than the cake Shea probably did not get the books or art set or the photo album and beanie baby.  Maelie also told her parents that one of the orphanage staff told her at one point that her parents probably changed their minds and were not coming to get her WTF???????? Can you believe that?  The sooner I can get my baby the sooner I will sleep normal again.  This makes me so sad for these children - more than I already am.  Once we get to Xi'An and the papers are signed and Shea is 100% our daughter I will breathe again.  But up until that point I am still on edge and worried about the outside influences that affected her once before. If those of you that read this are inclined to pray, please add this adoption to your list.  We are so close now and Molly is soooo excited.  Oh and before I forget, we did get another little note last week from her :-)

Dear MaMa and BaBa,

I miss all of you very much. I also like my bed you prepared for me very much. Thanks!

                                                                                                    

                                                                                                      Your daughter,

                                                                                                        An Guo Guo

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

My dear friend Julie who is Mia's mum sent Molly (and GiGi and Charlie) Valentines goodies.  She is SO thoughtful - it is almost like every other week a box arrives with something either for me or Molly or Shea.  We are SOOOOO lucky to have her in our lives.  Mia is the little girl who is from Shea's orphanage, my only complaint is that they live in Illinois and not here Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.  It is not often you meet people that you have absolutely almost everything in common with but we are truly blessed that we did. Not much else is new, a nice gal in Texas had sent me an email asking me if I knew anything about the albino girl in the photo below.  I didn't but LOOK....Shea is in it HA!  I am guessing we will hopefully go get our darling Shea in April.  I wish my friend Julie was coming with me.

HERE ARE THOSE PICS

SO ADORABLE

AREN'T THESE TWO SO STINKING CUTE?

THIS IS TING - SHE WAS ADOPTED LAST YEAR AT AGE 10

THE LITTLE ONE ON THE RIGHT IS TING'S LITTLE SISTER - I LOVE HER!

THANK YOU LORD

Well I am so happy right now - just got a little note from Shea

Dear Father, mother and little sister,I miss all of you too every day. I hope we will have a reunion soon. I am very happy during the Chinese New Year. Was Moli happy in the Chinese festival? I think we will get together soon.May Baba, Mama and Moli happy new year, happy every day.                                                                                                                            Your daughter,                                                                  Guoguo

This makes me SOOOOOOO happy.  We have now been cabled and our article 5 was dropped off on Friday and will be picked up in 2 weeks and taken to the CCCWA where in return they will issue Travel approval (TA).  So we guesstimate to travel April sometime.  On another good note we had a lovely dinner with our local FCC chapter (Families with Children from China) and yes the pics are on my phone so I will add them later, sorry.  I cannot wait to have Shea in my arms forever and neither can her sister or her father.  We fell in love with her the first time we saw her face almost one year ago and that love has grown deeper and deeper.  I never thought I would ever be eager to get on a plane (loathe flying) but I cannot wait!

OK AS PROMISED - PICTURES

Dragon Dancers

Indian Dancers

This girl was really cute - she spoke English and Mandarin

CHINESE NEW YEAR

I know I need to add pictures here but they are on my phone and I am too lazy to go get it - I will add later.  We went to the Charlotte Chinese Assoc Chinese New Year - it was quite good but not really as Chinese as I had hoped.  In a couple of weeks we are going to dinner with about 20 or more families in our FCC chapter YAY.

My dear friend Julie sent Molly and Shea really cute Disney nightdresses that were Mulan.  She is always sending stuff which of course we love.  Her daughter is from Shea's orphanage and was adopted earlier last year.  They live in IL which saddens me as we would be hanging out ALL the time if we were closer. I thank the Lord for the day she hunted me down as the person adopting Mia's friend, she has become one of my closest friends and supporters of this whole roller coaster.

Other bit of good news is today immigration approved our 800 status which means now they have to electronically send it to the NVC (Nat Visa Center) who then give approval and issue something that has to go to China and then we wait for TA (travel approval).  Something like that - there are so many more steps now than with Molly ugh!  Almost done though :-)

YIPPPPPEEEEEEE WE FINALLY GOT THE APPROVAL

So what now I hear you ask?  More paperwork of course LOL.   Had to overnight these two different sets of papers.  One load of forms for Immigration and then another load of stuff to  our agency.  Ugh I hate forms.  The amount of paperwork that is involved in international adoption would have Greenpeace  or whoever saves the trees livid!  Anyway, so now we wait again ha ha!  More waiting OH JOY!  But at least we know China has approved us.  We wait for immigration to do it's part again, then once that part is done they send something off somewhere and then someone sends something else and then  we have to wait for an appointment at the American Consulate in Guangzhou and one we have all that China is supposed to issue TA (travel approval) then about 2 weeks after that I think we get   going to China.  So all this now will take about another 3-4 months.  We have Chinese NY coming up in a couple of weeks where China shuts down for about 3 weeks so that is going to slow things down yet again.  At least when we do get to go the weather will be nicer YAY.  I am guessing end of April but it could be May.  Please God do not let her change her mind from now till then - we have come so far and gone through so much.  We have everything crossed it is smooth flying from here on out.                                                                                                     

HAPPY NEW YEAR

We had a lovely time welcoming in the new year - well we did not stay up till midnight but who has the energy for that anyway. We were invited over to dear friends of ours for dinner (she is a great cook) and the kiddies got to play.  Their daughter H is one of Molly's BFF's and their son E who is only 5 is as sweet as can be, we have known them since they were babies and just adore them.  My friend surprised me last night and told me she follows my blog and that made me SO happy since I thought no one did - THANK YOU DARLING!!!  Above is a pic of the 3 of them from last night.
Next are a couple of pics of Molly with her latest discovery - a sequin hat from Justice and a funky bag with a big letter M on it!  She had received a gift cert for Justice for her Birthday and that shop is major cool but major expensive too.  We had such a great day shopping together - she is quite the little fashionista!  Not many people can say they have been arguing with their daughter everyday about what they are to wear since age TWO!!!!!

SHEA'S CAKE

Finally got pics of the cake I arranged to be sent to Shea for her birthday - I hope they told her it was from us?

PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT KATY

The little girl on the left is Katy, (Fang Fang) she is amazingly sweet and desperately wants a family.  She ages out soon so PLEASE spread the word.  She is in Shea's orphanage.  She loves Katy Perry and Justin Bieber, is great with the young kiddies and SPEAKS ENGLISH!!!!  Super smart.  She is a Hep B carrier but healthy.  Please don't leave her behind.  Please repost and share and help find her a forever family soon.

CHRISTMAS, VIDEO AND THE AGONIZING WAIT

Christmas was horrid again, that is 3 years in a row we have had a horrid Christmas.  3 Christmas' ago I lost my mum, last year Molly and I were sick.  This year we were sick again!  Plus I am down as we are STILL waiting for LOA from China.  Today is actually day 99 and I AM SO PISSED OFF.  It is horrid and selfish of me to say but I hate it when I see people getting their LOA after 30 or 40 or 50 days when there are people like me who have waited and waited and waited.  This has been such a horrible adoption journey and yeah yeah worth it in the end I know but GIVE ME A BREAK ALREADY!!!!  Trying to do the right thing does not always work out right does it.  As you can see I am in a bad mood.  I am also fed up once again that you spend years buying everyone else's kids gifts for years and years and the one year you decided not to do it - they don't send to Molly either!  Another thing that totally pisses me off!  My mum always said no one ever remembers what you did for them when it comes to your turn! Anyway here is another video that was filmed the same time as the last but my friend saved for me to send as a surprise.  Poor Shea is totally confused about English :-(  Also here is a picture of the art set I had asked a company to send her - it was not my idea of an art set but this is what they sent her anyway.  I am also waiting to hear about the cake that was supposed to be sent to her for her birthday and that was a week ago grrrrrrrrrr.  This Chinese are not quick to do anything are they other than the NYC subway system or in China town where they push and shove you around to get where they want to go. Oh and the stupid twonk moderators on Rumour Queen warned me they were taking disciplinary action again me coz I wrote 'the one who must not be mentioned' and said I was trying to get my religious message across without saying it therefore still breaking the rules.  DO ME A FAVOR!  I said 'but you have Christmas written all over the place CHRISTmas HELLOOOOOOO!!!'  Oh my dear word!  JESUS JESUS JESUS GOD GOD GOD see I said it - I believe in them both - I believe in the HOLY TRINITY - try kick me off my own blog!!!  If ya don't like that I say Christian related things then bugger off!  Drives me crazy.  I don't care if people write Allah or Jehovah or anything they want, freedom of speech.  Why does it bother people if we write Jesus or God?????????  Whole 'nother story I guess.

HAPPY 12TH BIRTHDAY

Well it sucks coz today she turned 12 and I was hoping that maybe we would get LOA (letter of approval today).  It is day 91 today of waiting for approval  which is just agonizing.  Some people have gotten approval in 30 odd days, some 40 odd and I know of one who waited 170 days OMG I would die!  It has been 9 months already since we started this roller coaster and boy has it been some ride.  I contacted the same agency who sent the books last time to arrange a cake and an art set to be sent.  I had really wanted to cake to arrive today on her birthday but they didn't get it together grrrrrrrrrr.  I have written another letter to be translated and sent to her with the art set (see below).  Molly asked me today if sissy is going to be her and I said I hoped so.  The wait is long for her too now I think.  She really is starting to want a sister.

Sweet daughter,

You have just had a birthday and our hearts hurt because we were not with you.  Next birthday we will have a party for you.  The wait to come and get you is going so slow and taking too long, we wish they would hurry up and let us come but they are taking forever.  We hate that they are making us wait.  Please do not give up on us, we love you so very much but the people who do the paperwork in Beijing are very slow.  We thought we could come in February but now they tell us it may be in April or May.  But once we are together we will be a family forever and that will never change.  We are trying to be patient but we worry about you every day.  We hope you understand it is not us that is taking so long it is the officials in Beijing.  We cannot come until they say we are allowed.  Anyway we hope you liked the cake.  Did you get the photos and the bear we sent with the man who came to visit, Jeff?  We hope you liked them.  Is there anything you need that we can send you?

Your sister, Molly, is so excited to be with you.  She cannot wait to do art projects with you and play games and go to the park and ride bikes.  We will buy you a bike when you are here if you want one.  Can you roller skate?  Molly likes to roller skate.  Me, your mother, cannot but daddy can.  Molly wants to learn Karate or ballet.  What would you like to do?  We all love to watch movies, do you like to watch movies?  We need to give you an English name and we were thinking Shea which means Fairy Palace, do you like it?  If you don’t we can find another name.  What name do you want to be second, we thought Shea Shuyin but would you like Shea GuoGuo more?

It is Christmas in one week and we wish you were with us but next Christmas will be the best and we will have so much fun doing lots of fun things together.  We speak to your friend Wu Yu Qin a lot her new name is Mia.  She is very funny and she loves you and cannot wait to see you again. Molly has a friend here named Ting and she is 10 years old.  She came from China this year and she speaks Mandarin.  She is very funny too.  Do you like to be funny and do funny things and be silly?  We love being silly.  We laugh a lot.  We are going to start getting your bedroom ready and will send a picture when it is ready.  Your bed is going to look very pretty and Molly will also have her bed in the same room as she likes to have company.  You also have a play room too and your own desk.  When you are both older you can have your very own rooms next to each other.  You will love it here, we have lots of fun.  You will go to a very nice school too when you are ready.  Mama will take you and Molly in the morning and pick you both up in the afternoon but Saturday and Sunday we do fun things and sometimes we just relax and stay home playing games and watching movies.  Oh we cannot wait until we are all together.  We love you so much.

Mama, Baba & Molly 

PA AND OTHER NEWS

Look at this little video I got - a little message for us from our sweet girl.  We also got these pictures.  OK so we got PA on Molly's birthday..Dec 5th but were not told until 6th.  So now we restart the wait for LOA again - I suppose they won't take the 2 months we already waited into consideration :-(

My agency's office in Beijing said they think I am a VIP as I have so many advocates ha ha ha.

 I took out the pictures of my friend due to the keep it confident issues :-)

STILL NO PA SO PRAYING FOR A STRAIGHT TO LOA

Could she be anymore stunning?  Well my LOI was re-submitted on Tues Nov 22nd so the CCAA would have gotten it on the 23rd.  I have still not gotten PA (pre approval) it can take up to a month however the majority of people get it within a few days and also considering they have had our file and her file for 3 months and know that our file is for her and her file is for us you would think things would go quick, right?  So since there is still no PA I am hoping and praying that they will just send LOA (letter of approval).   So, how did I get this new pic?  Well during my mission of recruiting anyone who could help me find out her status and all that drama that went on in Oct I met a person who had strong connections with her orphanage but they live in the USA.  This person must remain annon so I will call this person BH for big help.  Well BH was going out to Ankang to do some business and met and talked to Shea YAY.  I had sent BH a little package to take to her prior to leaving.  BH has sent me a few emails from China and they are below.

I am in Ankang and I am tranlsating for Guo Guo:

 

I would love to meet you in person and I want to wish you a Merry Christmas......I miss you!   Ｉｗｏｕｌｄ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｔｏ　ｂｅ　ａ　ｍｅｍｂｅｒ　ｏｆ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆａｍｉｌｙ　ｓｏｏｎ．．．．

____________

She is absolutely beautiful......wow..........and have NO reason to believe she doesnt want to be adopted.......

_____________

Oh my word....she is absolutely beautiful, fun, and is being loved by everyone at Ankang.

 

I was with She Hi Yen (Assistant directer at orphanage) for 2 days and you all should be fine as long as CCAA doesnt mess anything up which I don't anticipate.

 

She is VERY excited to be adopted and I have a short video for you I have to send when I get home. 

 

Again.....my pleasure to be used by HIM for your family and she is fantastic

________________________THAT EMAIL WORRIED ME SO I EMAILED ASKING WHAT THAT MEANT

No need to worry....
However long CCAA takes is how long it will be until you go get Guo Guo.
I dont know how long that is but She Hi Yen thought you might be coming to China in a month or two?

Dont quote me though as I have no clue.. 

_____________________________

Remember - good things come to those who wait!

I have to say.....she is special and I am so happy for her and your family.

All of the kids at orphanage like her and they are close.  And I see her helping 
take care of the other babies too.  Like a big family.

So that was what I got.  I am of course eager to see the video.  Please all who read this add her into your prayers and that we get to bring her home soon please xxxxx

 

FED UP

Well one week since my LOI was re sent!  And still nothing.  I heard from a fellow agency user they got their LOA today and I am happy for them but so frustrated that it should have been me too as my LID was before theirs but the freaking CCAA screwed me around and my wussy agency does nothing to advocate.  They delayed me by at least 2 months Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I am so sick of this journey.  Yeah yeah I know it is so worth it in the end but bloody hell - this has been nothing but stress since we started.  I thought Molly's adoption was stressful but compared to this that was plain sailing.  At this rate we will be lucky we get her before Christmas 2012.

SOOOOO MUCH IN 24 HOURS

I had sent an email on Friday to my agency asking for them to find out that this was the right thing for Shea and that she truly wanted to be adopted and also asking what would happen if we got there and she did not want to come home with us.  I never heard back so I followed up on Monday and got an email back saying 'I am not convinced you should be adopting her'  and 'If we let you move forward with this adoption'  I freaked!  Bit late in the game for that comment don't ya think?????  I sent an email demanding they sort this out within 24 hours I wanted to know 100% that we were going to move forward and that it was the right thing for her or we wanted a full refund.  I got an email from the owner of the agency saying they wanted to make sure the orphanage had her best interests at heart and were not trying to adopt her out to make money???????  Yeah like the Orphanage get that money anyway!!!!!!  Cut a long story I called my beloved Wendy who called the Orphanage assistant director and she said Shea is very happy and just got a letter and 2 books from me YAY and is really happy to be adopted.  She said she tells her that when she comes here she can get a great education and then fly back anytime.  Then this morning I got an email from my agency's Beijing office with a letter from Shea.  She wrote this before she got my books I guess.

Dear Mama, Baba, and Meimei,

How are you doing?

I see the photos. They look very nice. I feel sorry to write to you a short letter last time. I just finish the mid-term exam. My Chinese is 77.5, and math is 87.

Mei Mei looks very cute in the photo. I want to be with you and mei mei and have a happy family.

Mama, how are you doing?

                                                                        

Wish you healthy and happy everyday.

Wish meimei to get A in her study.

I was soooooooooooooooo happy to get this.  Then I got a wonderful email from Karolyn at my agency in MO (whom I actually adore) saying this.  Melody heads up the Beijing office.

The good news is that we did hear from Melody this morning.  Here is her email,

It’s been investigated by us and the orphanage that the foster father is not suitable for taking care of this child.  He is single, with no family, no job and is a gambler.  He lacks the basic thing for caring for a teenager. Guoguo loves him but doesn’t want to live with him.   That’s why he let her go to the orphanage.  It’s sad for the man to lose the child but it’s not good for the girl to stay in the situation that’s bad for her either.    This man can’t provide her with financial need , nor education .  That’s why An guoguo came to the orphanage.  Maria went to meet An guoguo personally and the orphanage explained to us as well.  Most important, An guoguo wants to be adopted.  She looks forward to become a part of a family with loving parents and live a normal live like all the other children. 

If we saw problem like this, we wouldn’t have started the adoption process for her.

Let’s proceed.

Melody

I AM SO HAPPY - but it could still take another 6 months UGH.  They finally submitted my LOI this morning so now I wait for PA (which should have been 3 months ago).

WILL THE REAL SHUYIN PLEASE STAND UP

Well yesterday my agency called me and said she has finally been posted - they sent me her file and I had a good old read just to see if I needed to rewrite the letter of intent.  Oh my, what a story.  Here is some of the  testimony the foster father gave and it broke my heart.

An Guoguo, female, was born on Dec. 19 1999. Her adoptive father (i.e. the picker) XXXXXXXXXX, male, 48 years old, DOB: XXXXXXXXXX, reports orally the living and studying Conditions for the past 10 years of the child as follows:

 Ankang City, Shaanxi Province. He picked up An Guoguo at the gate of his home on 2000-2-9, at which time she had a birthday note with her indicating her DOB as Dec. 19 1999. Since he had had no children with his wife, he kept and raised Guoguo in his home. Soon, the adoptive grandma died. At the age of 1.5 years old, Guoguo’s adoptive mother died. XXXXX, himself, has not married since then and raised Guoguo on his own. During 0-5 years old, the child had poor physical condition and often caught cold and had stomachache. He often took her to hospitals for treatments. As she grows older, she has become stronger and seldom catches cold.

 She always has had excellent marks and she is the top one student in her grade. She is also the president of her class. On 2010-6-20, when she was in 5^th grade, the heavy storm and debris flow destroyed her house, at which time she and her family just lived in a bamboo cabinet with poor condition. Since it was very hard to live and XXXXX had no basic conditions to raise Guoguo, the village Party secretary Liu Shugen persuaded him to send Guoguo to the Children’s Welfare Institute to care, at which place they could offer food, clothes, shelters and education for the child. Later on, the deputy director of Civil Affair Bureau of Hanbin District Zhang Wujun knew the whole story and agreed to call the director Wan Rui of the Children’s Welfare Institute of Hanbin District to discuss such matter. The said CWI required finishing all relevant adoptive materials and on 2010-8-4, the child was sent to our CWI with complete and formal admission materials and changed her original name  Shuyin to An Guoguo.

Oh this is JUST devastating!  She must love this man and he her!  No wonder she is so confused about leaving him and her home.  Ok no he cannot provide what we can but he can provide love.  I am so saddened by this.  Are we doing the right thing?  I have stressed to my agency that it is imperative that should she wish to stay in contact with him she be told we  want her to and that maybe we can buy him a PC and they can Skype or one day buy him an airline ticket so he can come visit.  Surely he is our family too?  Then there is also the risk that we get there and she change her mind again and not want to leave.  How could we possibly drag her away? Oh my heart aches with all this.  Yes OK our situation is a little different, she knows about us and we have communicated but still this scares me.  I have read 2 blogs now where the children refused to leave and the parents came home without their child - they like me would not force her.  Since Shea has already changed her mind once who knows what will happen.

CHRISTMAS VRS CONSUMAS

Last year I hated Christmas BIGTIME!  Yeah Molly had been sick, I got sick.  It was a year since I lost my mum but I just hated it.  I hated what Christmas had become.  Granted I cannot stand being near my family around Christmas so that always hurts but what really got to me was what has happened to Christmas?  How could I escape the commercialism?  I need to find a way to separate Christmas from Xmas or Crimbo.  Why do non Christians celebrate it?  Isn't it supposed to be a religious holiday?  I swore last year that this year I would not buy gifts for anyone other than Molly (which are usually from Half.com, Ebay or Goodwill anyway) and what I would have spent on others I will donate to charity and I am sticking with this.  I don't want to make it Bah Humbug for Molly but when I just asked her what was the first thing that popped into her head when I said Christmas was....she replied "Santa coz he is the star of Christmas".  Oh boy - what have I done?  This is all my fault.  I told her that from now on CHRISTmas would be spent differently and that we needed to do what Jesus would want us to do and that is to help the needy.  Perhaps now is a good time to start a tradition? Maybe 'Room at the Inn' which our church does, does something on Christmas day or eve where we can go spend it with the homeless and serving them?  Maybe we can buy them gifts?  I don't know but something have to change.

MY DUMB ARSE AGENCY

The longer this process continues the more and more I detest my agency.  So I called my main person there yesterday asking if Shea was in the CCAA database YET and was told no.  I said 'well maybe tomorrow' she said I am off tomorrow.  So I asked if anyone else could check and she said no!  So the whole freaking office has to freeze coz she ain't there??????  So then I asked out of curiosity what time she normally checks the database - thinking it would be first thing every morning since China works while we sleep but oh no - it depends on how busy she is WHAT???????  Like my situation is not a priority right now???????  I hate this agency with a passion.  I did however get these 2 emails from Beijing last week so that is something I suppose even if it was a week after I emailed them!

Rayne,
I understand your feeling. Genna, Tina, Melody, and I want GuoGuo to be adopted soon too. We worked and are working on the paperwork with CCAA. CCAA is very busy.
I called the director yesterday. Guoguo is doing well now. But I know the best place for her is your home. I hope you will come to China to adopt her soon. We work on it.

Sincerely,
Maria

THEN

The directors of AnKang orphanage are GuoGuo's angels in AnKang.
We are working on the paperwork staff with CCAA and hope you will come soon.

Maria

LETTER AND BOOKS

I hired a company who translates your letter up to 600 words and you can add gifts to the package - they are in China and they send it to your orphanage.  Well I had asked them to get me a fairy tail book but not sure about the other one they are sending LOL maybe she can pass that to someone else.  They said she should get the package by Friday. Here is a copy of the letter I had translated - I have left some things out that I cannot reveal as my adoption agency may get mad LOL

Sweet GuoGuo,

 

 I want you to know that we really wish we were allowed to come and bring you home right now but we have to wait for the Chinese officials to give us permission and sometimes they take a long time.  It may be 6 more months before they say we can come so please darling do not think that we do not want to come - we do very much but we have to wait for them to say yes.  

 

I wish I could write to you everyday but again I am not allowed.  When we are finally together no one can change that and we will be together forever as a family and we cannot wait.  We love you so very much and your sister is so excited to play games and do art with you.  We cannot wait to go to the playground, theatre and restaurants with you and show the world our beautiful new daughter.  We are so proud of you.  You are such an amazing and wonderful child.   

When you are home we will study English together and when you are comfortable I will take you to school each morning and pick you up in the afternoon. But you can stay home with me (Mama) until you feel ready to go.  I drive Molly (your sister) to school too and pick her up.  There is a school bus that stops right outside our house but I like to drive Molly so I don’t have to worry about her.  Maybe this summer you and Molly can learn to swim or maybe you can both do Karate class or art class – which ever you like.  You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  There is no school in the summer here just lots of fun.  Maybe we can take a trip to see one of your friends who also came here from China?  Or maybe we can go see your cousins in England, that is where I am (mama) from.  You have a  grandfather there too who loves you and cannot wait to see you.

When our friend Wendy sent your picture we knew that your were our beautiful daughter and we could not wait to hold and protect you forever.  Please do not give up on us we just have to wait until the officials say we can come to bring you home.  Do not believe what others tell you or when they try to scare you – they do not know the truth. When you are here you can write and call your friends in China and tell them how wonderful it is so that they will not be scared or believe horrible things people say.  We want all the children to have loving homes.

  We would love it if you would write a letter back but if you do not want to that is ok, maybe you would draw a picture?  Did you get the picture Molly drew for you?  Well darling when you get scared or lonely just read the letters and look at our pictures and remember that we love you so much.

Mama, Baba & Mei Mei xxx

MY CUP OVERFLOWETH

So this morning after a night of total angst and after sending an email to the Beijing office asking them to get on top of the CCAA but being turned down and told there is nothing they can do....I left Tina at the MO office a message saying that I could not do this anymore.  I said I felt that too many things had gone wrong in this adoption and it all seemed really fishy now (when I said I... I really mean my husband and I).  I said I felt that CHI were advocating for us like other families tell me their agencies do.  I said that if I were able to call the CCAA and advocated for myself I would but I am not allowed and that is why I hired them.  I said I was beyond frustrated at this point....why would the CCAA have both our files for over 2 months and do nothing with them and now all of a sudden decide to put her on the database and start from scratch?  What is the point in listing her now other than they get $80 from me?  So surprise surprise she calls me within about 10 mins saying "Oh don't give up on this now.....we are pushing for you but to the CCAA they only tell us what they think we want to hear and this is a job to them not a priority...they don't care....we just have to be patient and remember we did not get into this the regular way to start so now someone at the CCAA has probably said 'Oh she needs to be added into the database so we can get $80.....blah blah blah!  I told her I felt something was being covered up and she said no not at all and that I know much more than other families do and that is why I feel so much worse.  She said it is going to happen I just have to be patient.  So I asked her how long are we expected to wait for them to put her in the database before she will contact Beijing and ask them to follow up - she said by the end of the week.  I told her time is not our friend here since she is already being influenced heavily and changed her mind once and then she went on to this whole schpiel about how older kid adoption rarely works and if it does they are highly blessed but about 99% do not.  That this child will not love me like Molly and she never suggests older child adoption and the oldest would be 6.  She said how families have gone there and children have changed their minds but the orphanage normally talks them into it.  OMG it was frightening what she was saying.  At this point I guess if she is going to change her mind again I pray it is before Molly and I are there and I will not do anything to fight it.  I think I have done all possibly human short of flying there myself to make this adoption happen.  I have to know when to quit and let what will be...be.  As much as we want to adopt an older child I am not interested in pursuing one over 10 again - too many things can happen and they have a say in whether they want to be adopted or not and it is risky.  I have to trust God in this as hard as it is.  He knows the big picture, maybe she is our daughter maybe she is not but I know we have a child out there waiting be it Shea or another.  I am putting my boxing gloves down now.

THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE MY FRUSTRATION RIGHT NOW

Well all was finally swimming alone fabulously or so it seemed.  We were on day 49 waiting for approval from China and I decided to call my agency and ask if they had any news and I got the usual 'Oh I was going to call you today' response.  Apparently the CCAA now claim they want to put Shea in their on line data base and I will have to resubmit our LOI (letter of Intent) which I sent along with our dossier 2 months ago by the way.  Then we would have to wait for PA (pre approval) and then we would start the wait for LOA (letter of approval or Letter seeking confirmation) all over again. So in a nutshell the last 49 days our dossier has been either holding up a desk with a short leg or been used as a really good fly swatter coz is sure as hell has not been used for it's purpose.  I cannot find any words to express how sick and tired of all this I am at this point.  I really had hoped that perhaps we could adopt again at some point after this but I am not going through this again - I would have to be in sane (I am pretty close to that now actually).  The grief this has caused is just beyond frustrating.  We have lost 99% of faith in our adoption agency and have 0 faith in the whole China adoption process now.  Perhaps if our agency really went to bat for us things might not be this bad but we really feel they are not.  They do whatever CCAA says and don't put up a fight.  I am exhausted to say the least, emotionally, mentally and faithfully.  Yeah yeah all good things come to those who wait and all that but ya know those cute little saying don't mean shite when you have had the shite kicked out of you.

HALLOWEEN 2011 & CHINESE FESTIVAL

She is my Ms. Little Incredible

I wanted to put together all the different pics of Molly in costumes of Halloweens past but I am such an idiot - I have pictures uploaded on so many different sites I can't find them all now arghhhhhh.  But here she is this year anyway as Elastigirl/Violet from the Incredibles.  And once again she was sick for Halloween and spent the last 2 days at home in bed :-(

Saturday we went to a Chinese festival in Charlotte and it was GREAT!  They had cute little dancers, a dragon dance and calligraphy.  I hope they do it again soon.

Molly doing calligraphy

Dragon Dance

Molly with the little lantern dancers

The lady on the far right is wearing the Han ethnicity outfit.  I had no idea  but China has 56 different ethnicity's.   Molly's is Han and so is Shea's